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wickedchick09
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Name: Steph
Birthday: 5/15/1991
Gender: Female
Interests:
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AIM:  xbluerose66
Member Since:
11/8/2004
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| Seventeen tomorrow.
That's just....crazy. But there's so much life I haven't lived at the ages I was supposed to do said living. Or I guess everything society says I should do, right?
Well, aren't we quite the nonconformist. | | |
| Ahh weblogging. Not only can I divulge my deepest, darkest secrets in the dead of night to my beloved computer screen, but everyone can read them! Fabulous, no? So the point of this entry...oh where to begin...hmm-I think I'll start with Barack Obama.
Frankly, I don't like the guy. I need not get into ifs, ands, buts, and raising taxes, but I just don't like him. And I don't have a problem with other people not liking my preferred politicians yet somehow, people get offended when I say that I don't like Obama. (oh, and on a side-note, yes I know that "get" is a slang verb yet somehow (oh the deja-vu) I can't seem to find the idiomatic phrase for which I am looking) So anyway, Mr. Obama. Honestly, I'm not even voting in the upcoming election and neither is my...argumentee (for lack of a better noun.)
So getting in an argument about a candidate for whom we can't even vote is a fruitless venture in my humble (or not really at all) opinion. Honestly, I enjoy a good constructive argument. I do NOT, however, like the kind of conversation that ends with someone hanging up on me and steaming for 4 hours and creating passive agressive facebook headlines implying my ignorance. Ignorance? Because I said that there's a rumor about him being Muslim? Yeah...ignorance. Go read a newspaper before you attempt to challenge my political knowledge. Hmm..that sounded kind of arrogant and I don't mean to be but...seriously?! Ah, there's Grey's Anatomy's infamous 'seriously' for you there.
Meh. Oh, and I find it incredibly fascinating to see how my writing style has changed from the frivolous days of junior high to my last years of high school. I'd say I've improved, wouldn't you?
But really, WHY do people get so offended so easily? I think it's because we're told that by becoming irritated or by reacting negatively to a touchy subject, we'll attract attention and ultimately be the bigger person. It's like suffering is GOOD in our society. Hah and this is the Republican talking- the I'm supposed to be a Christian-private school girl-preppy Republican. Jesus suffered. Shouldn't we?
NO. I am NOT an evangelical Christian. I understand the value in suffering but I don't understand the point in calling attention to the effect of "racism" on others when it isn't even "racism."
And now for some seriously bold statements, I think that racism is going the other way. And it can't be stopped.
So racism? Obama? Argument? Arrogance? Do they have ANYTHING to do with each other?
Now that I think about it, no. I think it's just the filing cabinets of my brain connecting non-sequiturs together to make it work.
au revoir mes amis.
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| So to state the painfully obvious, I haven't updated in forever. But now is a good time to do so. Happy New Year! 2008. Wow. That blows my mind. But it's good too because there is so much in 2007 that I would love to forget. Like the following things...let's categorize, shall we?
SCHOOL
1. SOPHOMORE YEAR. Easily the worst 10 months of my life. And I had to get through it to get here.
2. Some of the horrors of sophomore year include...Math class! English tests. Chemistry. A new caliber of people I never wish I'd become close to. Pressure. Competition. Inadequacy. Imperfection.
3. My three month stand with anorexia. That was HORRIBLE.
4. AP European History. Enough said.
5. Flashing 9's. You're perfect-GET OVER IT.
6. The feeling that nothing will ever get better no matter how hard you try. The pressure to be perfect. The fear of time. The fear of death.
DANCE
1. Messing up at Oireachtas 2007 for Choreography. Oh my god. That was horrible.
...hmm...dance was actually pretty good this year- barely anything to complain about.
2. oh, but St. Ambrose was kind of a disappointment.
LIFE (let's call this miscellaneous)
1. So this is a junior year thing, a recent thing, a past thing. I didn't know about it until I (for lack of a better cliche phrase) opened my eyes and decoded the acronym. And it hurts because not only have I been STUPID and OBLIVIOUS for 2 years, but it also hits home. Exclusion. Why? WHY?! My only attempt to understand this rests in 8th grade...funny how the universe works. I started out with everything in the world and I'm slowly being reduced to nothing as I try desperately to improve my life. I don't really get why, though. It's almost as if things have been TOO good in the past and someone out there REALLY wants to see me suffer. Why am I always inadequate? It hurts. It really does. Good job, beak. Good freaking job.
2. I think I was too pedantic. It doesn't matter how smart people perceive you to be because other people can't control my happiness. Only I can. But control scares me, growing up scares me, life scares me, death scares me. Everything scares me.
(oh, but on a side note, I STOPPED BITING MY NAILS) (and I would like to credit Mrs. Adams for that one!)
3. I overthought everything. I was overanalytical. But not when I needed to be- like in AP Euro, thank you very much.
4. Judgment. I had to know everything about other people so I could figure out just who they were. I think that stemmed from the BEAK thing. They were nothing like I thought they were. I just thought they didn't like me as much as each other; I had no IDEA that they were excluding me...and they've got proof.
5. Dance company. That was an adventure of epic proportions. Guys, I'm sorry for being me.
You know what? NO. NO. NO. How I am allowed to sit here and complain? What authority do I have to judge my actions or the actions of others? NONE.
So for 2008, I'm ready. I'm ready to change. I'm ready to grow.
I'm ready to FORGET.
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| hullo
weekend. yay.
cept i'm SUPPOSED to be at the central california irish dancing championships.
but i have patella tendonitis. so...yeah
byeeee | | |
| oh my goodness.
i haven't written in this beast in a really long time, thank you tina for reminding me that I actually have the stupid thing.
okay so finals are stupid. i need to ace them. ESPECIALLY geometry. and history. and bio.
everything else i'm satisfied in. i guess.
i'm annoyed with like 8497593754987 things right now and none of them make any sense, but i'm excited to go to school tomorrow and clarify the narrow fact that I just might have a 98% in history.
that'd be pretty freakin awesome.
SCOTT PATTERSON IS MY LOVER. i know you're all so jealous. but he's mine.
people annoy me. most of the time.
and i freak myself out about death WAY too much. WAY WAY WAY too much. it's really not a happy subject, and i am quite the opposite of suicidal. but it does scare me. lots and lots.
lurve to all. | | |
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